In John Bradshaw's book Family Secrets, he discusses the idea of leveling with yourself so you can be honest about who you are. Bradshaw speaks to the idea that we need to challenge areas that we desire to be innocent in and he calls this "the core of soul work..." When we begin to challenge areas that we desire to be innocent in, we can then begin to level with ourselves. When we embrace who we are, innocent or not, we begin to heal.
I encourage you to begin the process of soul work. Own what you can from your actions and behaviors. It is possible to be victimized and abused, this is not what Bradshaw is referring to, he is referring to areas that we proclaim innocents when have none, are not entirely innocent.
I hope you are encouraged, I hope you level with yourself and I hope most of all that you find healing.
Take care everyone and thanks for reading.