When we feel let down, disappointed, frustrated and sometimes even lonely, it may be because we have unmet expectations. We are allowed to have expectations and healthy relationships have expectations. Whether we are mindful of our expectations or not, often times they are there and we have them. When expectations are not met if we are not mindful that we had expectations and that is where the emotions and feeling are coming from, then we can really struggle and really get down.
Follow this outline to learn how to help you manage your expectations.
When you catch yourself feeling down, disappointed, frustrated or lonely following an event that just happened or was supposed to happen (especially if this was supposed to be a fun event)...
Ask yourself the following questions:
1. "What am I feeling?"
2. "What just happened as I see it?"
3. "What was I expecting to happen"
Taking just a moment to ask yourself these questions can help you to be mindful and to be aware of what you are experiencing instead of just reacting to what you are experiencing. Once you answer these questions for yourself, you can then begin to move forward and decide what if anything would you like to do with the information you now have.
Sometimes just taking a step back helps to calm us down and it's enough so that we can move on. If you determine you need to have a conversation with someone then the next step would be to decide what you would like that conversation to be.
It helps us all to be mindful of our own expectations, and also to realize that we are allowed to and need to have expectations, and also that just because we have expectations, that does not mean that someone has to meet them. However, if after you have expressed your expectations and the other party consistently does not meet them, then it may be time to move on.
I hope this was helpful and that you find happiness in learning to look at and manage your expectations.
Take care everyone and I hope you find a way to be happier!