It is important to realize that there are some people in our lives that are toxic for us. One way to measure if someone is toxic for you, is to pay attention to how you feel when you leave a conversation with them. Sometimes there are difficult things that we need to work through and we get annoyed or impatient, this is not the same thing. This would be more like you are having a great day, feeling happy or satisfied and then you have a conversation with someone and then feel drained or enraged or depressed. If nearly every time you speak with this person you leave feeling this way, then this is not a healthy relationship for you. We spend so much time trying to feel different or trying to understand why we feel how we feel, and we don't spend enough time finding ways to set boundaries and eliminate our exposure to what is toxic for us. It's important to set boundaries so that we can stay whole and keep our peace.
If you have already set boundaries with someone and find yourself getting sucked back in, it's time to regroup. Re-establish the boundaries with yourself. Limit the amount of time you expose yourself to this person. Find what type of involvement drains you the most. If speaking with them on the phone is the most draining, then find another way to communicate. Ask them to email you, or ask if they can text or message another way. If you have to spend time with them because it's family, a co-worker or a boss, try to share as little emotion as possible. Don't share your emotions and don't take their emotion or problem on.
Take care everyone, and I hope you begin to pay attention to the relationships you have and to how you feel about them. Thanks for reading and have a great week!