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Make a Plan

3/3/2020

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Hello Everyone, 

If you find yourself not progressing in your life it may be due to a lack of planning. Before you take another step, make a plan first. For most of us, we plan while in the process and at that point we are doing damage control which is not the same as planning. When we take a look at our lives, that gives us a chance to make deliberate changes. Areas of our lives include, our health, finances, family, jobs etc. Living is good and being in the moment is important, but if you feel you are stuck or not progressing then this is a good day to take a look at your life and begin to plan. 
When beginning to plan, it is good to start with the end in mind. Decide where you want to end up and then work backwards from there. The following is an example of how to make a plan for where you want to end up. 

Finances
​Let's say you want to have a savings account that has $1200.
Where do you want to end up? With $1,200 in a savings account
Goal- Save $1,200
Set a date: One year from now  
The plan: Save $100 every month 
Steps needed: Make a budget that allows me to save $100 every month

Planning is intentional and over time, if you follow your plan, it will change your life. We encourage you to take a look at where you are at and begin to make to a plan and then stick to it. 

Take care everyone and thanks for reading! 
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Codependent Traits

2/25/2020

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Hello Everyone, 
​Codependents tend to do everything in relationships. Codependents do the cooking. cleaning grocery shopping etc. even though they have a job and work just as much as their partner. If their partner tries to help, the codependent will have a list of reasons why their partner is more tired or does more and why the partner should relax while they take care of everything. Over time however, codependents tend to begin to feel resentment and anger towards their partner when they get tired or want more help. 
Codependents have a difficult time asking for help or expressing a need. Codependents struggle with boundaries and saying no. If any of these traits sound familiar to you, and you want to deal with your codependent traits, you can begin to change things by learning to validate yourself. Self validation is helpful for codependents because it can be a first step to self love. Codependents often over extend themselves because they are trying to get approval and prove their value so that they will not be left or replaced so they constantly look for approval. Once someone struggling with codependency begins to validate themselves, they are less dependent on the people in their lives to validate them and they begin to recognize their worth and get stronger. Use the example below to learn how to begin to validate yourself...
​For example:
Old unhelpful thinking for codependent:
"I just cleaned this entire house, picked up your prescription from the pharmacy, cooked your dinner and you have the nerve to go to bed while I'm left folding your laundry, you are so selfish!"

Old Unhelpful Behavior:
Sits and finishes folding laundry, goes to bed late and is tired at work the next day, feels unappreciated and neglected 

New helpful thinking for codependent:
"Wow, I am awesome, I got the prescription on time, I cleaned the house and still managed to come home and make a delicious dinner! I AM AWESOME!!!"

New Helpful Behavior:
Says to partner, "Hey I am really worn out, would you mind helping me fold the laundry so we can both go to bed on time?" Feels confident in asking for help and valuable 

Take care everyone, I hope this was helpful. If you have codependent traits self love is crucial to your healing. Learning how to validate yourself is a great start to healing. Thanks for reading!


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Getting out of a Dysfunctional Family Dynamic

2/18/2020

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Hello Everyone, 
When we look at dysfunctional family systems we will almost certainly be looking at control. Dysfunctional family systems evoke fear in the members to keep control over them. Dysfunctional families do not encourage the members to do what they want, think what they want or be what they want. Dysfunctional families will often push boundaries and over step boundaries as a way to measure if a member is still under the control of the system. 

Use this list to measure if you are being controlled by a dysfunctional family system 
1. You are afraid to tell a member of the system no
2. You do not ask for what you want or need
3. You go the extra mile to help but others in the system do not reciprocate when you need help, or they over help by giving help in a way where they are in control of everything
4. You are afraid to set boundaries, you do what others in the system want you to do when they want you to do it 
5. Having others in the system talk bad about you, this can include twisting what you said or did or  just lying about you 
6. Being worried that if you do not do what the family system wants you to do that you will be talked about in a bad way 

Setting boundaries to stop the control can be scary and nerve racking to say the least. Most dysfunctional families have spent years instilling fear that you need the family or that the family is everything. The family then uses the threat of withholding the family from you if you are not allowing the control to continue. When you finally get the courage to live your own life, it can feel like you are on your own with no support and this can feel both scary and intimidating. The reality is that you were not supported anyway, you were controlled.

Getting out of the control may include the following:
1. Having to risk losing the dysfunctional family system 
2. Limiting your time with the dysfunctional family system 
3. Saying no 
4. Not explaining or defending yourself or your decisions 
5, Refusing to engage in manipulation or guilt trips- learning to just say no and walk away 
6. Creating a new support system for yourself 

Most of us that come from a dysfunctional family system, cannot see it when we are in it,  but for most of us there comes a day when we begin to realize that our needs are not being met, taken seriously or respected and then we have a chance and responsibility to do something about it. 

Take care everyone, and if you have been stuck in a dysfunctional family system then this may be the day that you begin to say no thank you to being controlled and start making a plan to live a life that you love. Thanks for reading and take good care! 
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Stay Away from Abusive Personality Types

2/11/2020

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Hello Everyone, 

Have you ever noticed that some people in your life do not seem to change. Nearly every time you have an interaction with them it tends to be negative, whether it is directed at you or someone else? There are abusive personality types and it is helpful to identify these abusive traits so that you can stay away from them.

Here are a few abusive traits that you can be mindful of so that you can begin to set some boundaries with them. 
  • Always right or never admits any wrong doing
  • Uses public humiliation as a form of punishment or control
  • Needles you or others (pokes at you with upsetting comments until you react then they flip it on you that you are "angry" or "crazy"
  • Doesn't listen 
  • Withholds emotion if you express a need or a want 
  • Does not acknowledge your efforts
  • Is critical of what you do 
  • Over steps boundaries and does not respect when you try to set boundaries 
  • Smears your name to other people (talks badly about to you the people you care about)
  • Lies to you and to others with no remorse 
  • Apologizes for how you feel, instead of what they did wrong 
  • Blames, has zero accountability 
If you have someone in your life that has been consistent with these behaviors, you will not be your best whole self until you set some distance between them and you. 
Take care everyone, I hope that you take inventory of the relationships you have in your life and of the way they make you feel. Thanks for reading!
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The Importance of Being Creative

2/5/2020

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Hello Everyone, 
Having a creative outlet is important for all of us. A creative outlet can be achieved through a variety of different activities. When we give ourselves permission to create, we experience freedom and wholeness. We were made to create and to be creative, look at our world and the impact that creativity has on us. Everything from cars, houses, fashion and more, came about because of someone's creativity. Making something that you are proud of adds to your sense of self and self worth. If we do not give ourselves permission to be creative we run the risk of not experiencing these freedoms and positive self perception and acknowledgment . If you are like most of us, you may be wondering how to begin to be creative.

Use the list below to start your journey or to pick your journey back up...
Forms of creativity may include:
*Drawing 
*Painting
*Sewing
*Pottery
*Weaving
*Photography
*Writing
*Knitting
*Crocheting 
*Wood working
*Building 
*Remodeling 
​
Once you pick one of the avenues of creativity from the list above, set a goal to engage in this form of creativity at least one time this week. 
​
​Take care everyone, I hope that you find a means and a way to express yourself creatively!
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Reflecting on this Year

12/17/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
As we bring 2019 to a close, we find it's a good time to reflect. Looking at what this year has been like is important so that we can be mindful of what we have done and also what we would like to do. Use the questions below to help you recall your past year and to begin to look ahead. 

Family (you define family however you would like to )
1. What was one thing that I really loved or appreciated with my family 
2. What was one thing or experience that I did not like or appreciate with my family 
3. What is one thing that I would like to do differently in the new year 

Finances
1. What did I do well with my money 
2. What did I not well with my money 
3. Did I pay off debt, if so how much 
4. Did I get in more debt? If so how much 
5, What is one thing that I would like to do differently in the new year 

Career
1. What is one thing that I did well with my career this year 
2. What is one thing that I did/do not like with my career 
3 Do I want to look at making any changes for the new year

Health 
1. What did I do this year to take care of my health 
2. What did I do this year to take care of my health
3. Are there any checkups or screenings I need to complete this coming year 

Spirituality 
1. How was my spirituality this year, did I feel connected 
2. What did I like/enjoy about my spirituality this year 
3. What would I like to change or do differently with my spirituality this coming year 

Learning/Growing 
1. What did I do this past year that helped me to keep learning and growing
2. What did I not do this past year to keep learning and growing
3. What would I like to do this coming year that will help me to keep learning and growing 

In which ways did I push myself this year? What was the result?
In which ways will I push myself in the coming year? What is my expected result

Take care everyone, we hope these questions encourage you to reflect on your last year so that you are more mindful of how you have spent your time and that it will motivate you to keep growing in the new year. Thanks for reading and let's all plan for our new year!
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This Time of Year

12/10/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

This time of year is very difficult for some. The lights, decorations and pressure, is not exciting to everyone. Some really struggle this time of year when it is expected that we buy lots of things, dress nice and be with family. Some of us have lost family, or lost touch with family, others have lost loved ones in one way or another. Grief can be part of your holidays and it may be important to understand that it is okay. 
It is okay to be sad, to miss what you once had or be sad for what you never had. You don't have to be anything, not happy, not cheerful and not even with others if that is what is causing you grief. Take time to take care of yourself this time of year especially if you are grieving. 
​Thanks for reading!
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Learn to Manage Expectations

12/3/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
When we feel let down, disappointed, frustrated and sometimes even lonely, it may be because we have unmet expectations. We are allowed to have expectations and healthy relationships have expectations. Whether we are mindful of our expectations or not, often times they are there and we have them. When expectations are not met if we are not mindful that we had expectations and that is where the emotions and feeling are coming from, then we can really struggle and really get down. 

Follow this outline to learn how to help you manage your expectations. 
When you catch yourself feeling down, disappointed, frustrated or lonely following an event that just happened or was supposed to happen (especially if this was supposed to be a fun event)...
  Ask yourself the following questions:
  1.  "What am I feeling?"
  2. "What just happened as I see it?"
  3.  "What was I expecting to happen"

Taking just a moment to ask yourself these questions can help you to be mindful and to be aware of what you are experiencing instead of just reacting to what you are experiencing. Once you answer these questions for yourself, you can then begin to move forward and decide what if anything would you like to do with the information you now have. 

Sometimes just taking a step back helps to calm us down and it's enough so that we can move on. If you determine you need to have a conversation with someone then the next step would be to decide what you would like that conversation to be. 

It helps us all to be mindful of our own expectations, and also to realize that we are allowed to and need to have expectations, and also that just because we have expectations, that does not mean that someone has to meet them. However, if after you have expressed your expectations and the other party consistently does not meet them, then it may be time to move on. 
​
I hope this was helpful and that you find happiness in learning to look at and manage your expectations. 
Take care everyone and I hope you find a way to be happier!
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Happy Thanksgiving!!!

11/26/2019

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 Hello Everyone, 

 November brings us another reason to celebrate all that we are thankful for, not just because we have so much, but because of all the relationships we have been fortunate enough to make this past year. We love Thanksgiving because it's a time to reflect on what has been good in our lives and it offers us a chance to pause and to be thankful.
​
 Comparing what we have to what we feel or know we should have, can take our gratitude and blind us to what we really have and to how fortunate we really are. Not everyone has a supportive, kind and loving family. Some of us have families that treat us more poorly than anyone ever has. We encourage you to limit your exposure to those that are toxic for you. Spend time with those that add to your life. 
We hope you find yourself surrounded by those that love you and appreciate you this Thanksgiving, and if that is not possible for whatever reason, then we hope that you find things you are thankful for. There is always hope and there is always a reason to be thankful!

 Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!! Thank you for another year that we got to love and serve our great communities!!
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Make Decisions Based on What Makes You Feel Safe

11/19/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

Being safe is more than just not feeling like you are in danger and more than just not being scared. Being safe can be measured by how you feel both emotionally and physically. It is imperative that we learn to live, work and play in what is and what feels safe to us. It can be helpful to ask yourself the following questions:
1. Is my home environment safe? 
    -Is there someone in my home that makes me feel unsafe
    -Are there things in my home that make me feel unsafe (these can be things that remind you of unsafe times in your life, like a spatula or blanket or a familiar smell) or it can be too much clutter, or things not being arranged in a way that is inviting to you 
    - Does the position of your furniture in your home make you feel safe, would you feel safer if it were in a different position, are things on your walls that you don't like, are there things that you can bring into your home that would make you feel more safe
2. Is my work environment safe
    -Do you work in an environment that promotes safety? This environment would help you to feel relaxed and at peace even if you are doing a difficult job. Doing a dangerous job causes us to feel unsafe, so it is important that we do what we can to feel safe 
3. Are the things that I do for fun safe
      - This also includes being around people who make you feel safe 
      - Constant arguing or being called names causes us to feel unsafe 
      - Being hit, held down, screamed at etc. causes us to feel unsafe 
Take a look at how you are living by using theses three areas and then make some decisions about what you would like to change so that you can feel safer moving forward. 

Take care everyone, and I hope you protect your safety and address areas where you are currently unsafe!
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Plan Your Week

10/15/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
​It is important to have a plan for you week that is written down. This is different than having your schedule in your head. When we keep our schedules in our head, we tend to achieve less in a week. This is how we can begin to feel like all we do is work, or we never have enough time to get things done. Plan your week with your priorities in mind. Follow the steps below to plan your week, everyone has to find what works for them. Try the steps below and see if they work for you, you may find that some of them work for you but not all of them, take what works and leave the rest.  

1. Make a list of everything you need to get done this week 
2. Make a list of what you would like to do this week 
3. Make a list of some goals you would like to achieve this week 
*It may be helpful to be sure the following appear somewhere on your list as well:
   -exercise, reading, budgeting, cleaning, eating and socializing 

There are several ways that you can schedule your week. Some people use their phones or apps for calendars, others simply use a notebook or you can use a paper planner. You can make it as simple or complicated as you want or need it to be, the goal is to just get started. Once you decide on the method you wish to use, you will need to add in hours for work and for school. Once you have accounted for that period of time, you can start delegating other events from your list of priorities. It's good to get a routine. For example maybe you go to the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays, or you vacuum Tuesday and Thursday. 
Planning your week would also include meals and the time when you plan to get your meals. 
Take care everyone, we hope that this is a start for you and that you are motivated to start planning your life. 
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Eliminate Your Exposure to Someone Who Is toxic

9/4/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
It is important to realize that there are some people in our lives that are toxic for us. One way to measure if someone is toxic for you, is to pay attention to how you feel when you leave a conversation with them. Sometimes there are difficult things that we need to work through and we get annoyed or impatient, this is not the same thing. This would be more like you are having a great day, feeling happy or satisfied and then you have a conversation with someone and then feel drained or enraged or depressed. If  nearly every time you speak with this person you leave feeling this way, then this is not a healthy relationship for you. We spend so much time trying to feel different or trying to understand why we feel how we feel, and we don't spend enough time finding ways to set boundaries and eliminate our exposure to what is toxic for us. It's important to set boundaries so that we can stay whole and keep our peace. 
If you have already set boundaries with someone and find yourself getting sucked back in, it's time to regroup. Re-establish the boundaries with yourself. Limit the amount of time you expose yourself to this person. Find what type of involvement drains you the most. If speaking with them on the phone is the most draining, then find another way to communicate. Ask them to email you, or ask if they can text or message another way. If you have to spend time with them because it's family, a co-worker or a boss, try to share as little emotion as possible. Don't share your emotions and don't take their emotion or problem on. 
Take care everyone, and I hope you begin to pay attention to the relationships you have and to how you feel about them. Thanks for reading and have a great week! 
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Unhelpful Thoughts

8/20/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

It's important to be mindful of your thoughts. Your thoughts produce your emotions and your emotions drive your behavior. If we go around not being mindful of what we are thinking we may be operating off of unhelpful thoughts. 
The next time you catch your thought, ask yourself, "Is this thought helpful?" If the thought is not helpful then ask yourself, "What is a more helpful thought?" 

Here is an example of how an unhelpful thought impacts us:
Unhelpful thought: "This will never get done" 
Unhelpful emotion: Anxiety 
Unhelpful behavior: procrastination 

Here is an example of an interrupted unhelpful thought that can become helpful 
Helpful thought: "This will get done, it's just going to take some time"
Helpful emotion: contentment 
Helpful behavior: Make a list of what needs to be done and start with number one 

Take care everyone, I hope you begin to look at what you are thinking and deciding if the thought is helpful. Thanks for reading and have a great week! 
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Set Some Summer Goals

8/13/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

We still have a few weeks of summer left and it's important to make good use of the time we have. This is a good time to reflect on your summer and decide what more you would like to do with what's left of the season. Try following these steps to be sure that you are getting the most of the season. 
1. Make a list of things that you would like to do or achieve
   1. Paint the house
   2. Visit a lake and build a fire 
   3. Clean out the garage 
   4 Go on a hike 
   5. Visit a farmer's market
   6. Eat outside on Fridays 
2. Next get out a calendar and schedule these things into your calendar. For example on Fridays you would write "eat outside". On Saturdays you would write "Farmer's Market" 
3. Follow your calendar, don't go by if you "feel like it or not", follow what you have written down 

Although you may not be able to achieve every single one these goals, if you stick to your calendar you are more likely to achieve some of the things and you will have made use of the last of your summer to achieve the things you wanted instead of having summer end and wondering where the time went. 

Take care everyone, I hope you set some goals for what is left of your summer!
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Don't be Someone's Audience

6/19/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
Have you ever had a relationship where the other person spent all of the time sharing their life with you, but it seems/seemed to never be your turn to share? This can be a romantic relationship, a friendship or in a relationship with a family member. This person can keep you on the phone talking about their experiences, or take all the time that you share together talking about what they want or need. This is not a relationship, this is one person using the other one as an audience. Your job is to bear witness to their life, to be someone to reflect their experience off of. This can leave you feeling drained and frustrated. If we do not have boundaries and eliminate our exposure to people who use us for their audience, then we will stay frustrated and drained. It is not rude or selfish to want what you are willing to give in a relationship. It is our job to protect our well being. Pay attention to what you expose yourself to. If you find that you are being someone's audience and you don't want to be, then try setting some boundaries. Limit the amount of time you spend with them  and in conversation with them. You don't always have to shut the door on a relationship, try limiting time spent with that person and go from there 
Take care everyone and remember you were not born to be someone's audience! 
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Write Down Your Most Painful Deal Breaker

6/11/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

Relationships can be a wonderful addition to our lives, or they can leave us feeling depleted and hopeless. A relationship is supposed to add to our lives not take away. A healthy relationship will support your life, it will encourage you to be your best self. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you will feel discouraged and alone. All abuse isolates you and leaves you feeling alone. Pay attention to how you feel after you spend time with someone. If you feel depleted and alone, this can be a sign that you are in a toxic or unhealthy relationship. 
It can be difficult to be honest with yourself when you are navigating the toxic waters of an unhealthy relationship. It can be helpful for you to write down your most painful deal breaker and then not make excuses if your boundary is crossed. When we are in a relationship and someone crosses our boundary, our natural tendency may be to try to explain or understand why someone crossed it. This can be a trap because it takes the focus off of the fact that the boundary was crossed and that is the point, not why someone crossed it or how far down the line they crossed it. 
Writing down your most painful deal breaker can be a way for you to step out of the fog of what is happening to you in your relationship. For so many, it's not what someone does, it's what someone continues to do that is the most painful. For example, someone lying is an over stepped boundary, but the more painful damaging deal breaker, is someone that makes no effort to change that hurtful damaging behavior. One example of a most painful deal breaker may be: I tell you how what you do is hurting me and you say you are sorry but make no effort to change. If that is the deal breaker and the boundary continues to be over stepped, then there is no relationship and you may want to ask yourself "What am I doing here, this is not a relationship. This is me being hurt by someone who does not care." If someone cares, then they make an effort to stop. If someone says that they care but they make no effort to stop, then stop listening to them and start paying more attention to what they do. 

Take care everyone, I hope you write down your most painful deal breaker even if you are not in a relationship. 
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Don't Carry the Weight of Hate

6/4/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
Hate is heavy and when we carry it, it weighs us down. Don't make the mistake of hating, it keeps you from your life and from experiencing true freedom and true joy. Hate is a mistake, don't make the mistake of hating it will consume you. If there is someone in your life that is not good for you and has wronged you, you can forgive them and let them go, you do not have to hate them. Hate does not keep us safe, often times we hate what we don't understand. The next time you catch yourself saying that you hate someone or something, remind yourself that there may be something in the situation that you do not understand and that it is okay for you to move on even if you don't understand it. 
Take care everyone, I hope that you don't make the mistake of hating because you deserve to be free. 
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Forgive Someone

5/7/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

We all have someone in our lives who has wronged us, offended us or hurt us. When we withhold forgiveness it keeps us chained to the offense and causes us to become bitter and even hard. We can find ourselves saying hateful things and doing hateful acts that we would not otherwise want to do or even feel capable of doing. When we have been wronged and we do not forgive we can lose our ability to empathize with others. This can lead to us being the ones who are doing the harm of others and we may find ourselves in need of forgiveness from someone. 

Do yourself a favor and forgive. Forgiveness is how we begin to let it go. When we let go we are free, free to love, free to live and free to be ourselves. Remember that forgiveness does not equal trust. Someone has to earn our trust, especially if they have broken it, but forgiveness is a choice that we make, it's a gift that only we can give. 

Take care everyone, and I hope you think about those individuals in your life that you want to forgive and find a way to forgive them so that you can be free. Thanks for reading. 

​
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Face Your Addiction

4/30/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

Facing your addiction is not easy. Even when we feel we are facing it...we may not be. Getting feedback from others and being mindful of how we impact those around us is a helpful step towards facing our addictions. Whatever the harmful behavior is that we are repeating whether it involves a substance, a thought or a behavior, we cannot begin to change it until we face it. 

Look at the reasons you give as justification for the harmful behavior that you repeat. The reasons, justifications and or excuses that you use, keep you from facing your addictions. A great first step is to look at the reasons you give to explain your actions. If we can really look at our explanations, we can get closer to facing our addictions. The next step is to stop stating the justifications, excuses and explanations for our harmful behaviors, and instead just state the harmful behavior that you have. The third step is to list how this harmful behavior impacts those around you. 

Here are two examples:

Example #1:

Step 1: Reasons/excuses/justification: "Yea, I drink after work. I don't have anywhere to go and I deserve a drink after a long days work, it's not hurting anyone". 

Step 2. Harmful behavior statement: "I drink 6-9 beers every night after work"

Step 3. How this impacts others: When I drink 6-9 beers each night, I am not really engaging in my family responsibilities. I get a buzz or drunk and then go to bed. All of this alcohol is not good for my liver and it makes me cranky in the mornings because I don’t feel good and I find myself not working as hard and that makes it hard for my co-workers 

Example #2:

Step 1. Reasons/excuses/justification: "I may scream at her and be a little harsh, but she doesn't listen and if she keeps on this path she will never learn responsibility"

Step 2. Harmful behavior statement: "I scream at her and I am harsh with her"


Step 3. How this impacts others: She has anxiety, and has a difficult time sharing how she feels without getting upset, it negatively impacts her self esteem and she cries 

The next step is share your behavior with another and begin to face it 

This week, let's try to identify a harmful behavior that we continue to repeat and try to make a harmful behavior statement without any excuses, justifications or explanations for the behavior. This will be a great start. 
​
Take care everyone and have a great week!  
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Design Your Life

4/23/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

It is important to look at our lives and see what it looks like: what are the colors of you life, what do you surround yourself with? Is it a pallet that you like, one that you would choose?  Do you love what you see, does it make you feel alive and whole? If you have never spent anytime looking at your life, take time to design what you want it to look like. What type of setting would you like to live in? Maybe you would love to live in an apartment in a city, or a house in the country or a cabin in the woods. What would you love to come home to? How do you want to feel when you walk into your house, when you go to work, or on the weekends? Spend some time designing your life, even if you cannot achieve the life you want today, begin taking steps towards a life that you would like to design. 
Take care everyone, I hope you begin to assess your life and design a life that you love! 
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Appreciation Can't Be Overdone

4/2/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

Appreciation is a powerful thing in our lives. Appreciation can turn a bad day filled with complaining into a day that feels lighter and brighter. Having appreciation is a great trait to possess and it can be contagious. When we have an attitude of gratitude, we are more pleasant to be around and can feel more energized which tends to make most of us feel happier. Appreciation cannot be overdone. You cannot be too appreciative for what you see, have, feel or are given. Even if we are currently struggling, we can always find something to be grateful for and that can make all the difference. 
This week, let's practice cultivating an attitude of appreciation and see how it impacts our lives and the world around us. 
Thanks for reading and have a great week! 
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The Core of Soul Work

3/19/2019

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Hello Everyone, 

In John Bradshaw's book Family Secrets, he discusses the idea of  leveling with yourself so you can be honest about who you are. Bradshaw speaks to the idea that we need to challenge areas that we desire to be innocent in and he calls this "the core of soul work..."  When we begin to challenge areas that we desire to be innocent in, we can then begin to level with ourselves. When we embrace who we are, innocent or not, we begin to heal. 

I encourage you to begin the process of soul work. Own what you can from your actions and behaviors. It is possible to be victimized and abused, this is not what Bradshaw is referring to, he is referring to areas that we proclaim innocence when have none, are not entirely innocent. 

I hope you are encouraged, I hope you level with yourself and I hope most of all that you find healing. 
Take care everyone and thanks for reading. 
​
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Two Way Street

2/5/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
Over stepping boundaries in a relationship is very common. When we go past "middle" in a relationship, we can slowly begin to lose ourselves, build resentments and become codependent. A relationship needs to be about exchange, a healthy relationship has a feeling of ebbs and flows. A relationship that is functional will be a two way street. A relationship that is dysfunctional will be a one way street. In a dysfunctional relationship, one partner will be allowed to say how they feel, say what they need and set boundaries for what they do not want in their lives, while the other partner is not allowed access to these same rights.
A dysfunctional relationship will have double standards, and you will know you are in one because you will feel drained every time you are around this person. This is not limited to romantic relationships, it can be any relationship.... This can be in a friendship, a relationship with a family member or at work. The next time you are feeling drained after being around someone, ask yourself, "Did I go past middle, did I continue to give even when it was clear it was not being reciprocated?" If the answer is yes, you may want to do some work with your boundaries and begin setting some with this person. Check out our other blogs to come for more information. 
Thanks for reading, and we are hoping that all of your close relationships offer you exchange and that they are a two way street!
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Stop Doubting Yourself

1/16/2019

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Hello Everyone, 
When it comes to what you can achieve, the sky is the limit. We doubt ourselves and place limitations on our lives. It is important that, regardless of what you are facing,  you pay attention to the extent that you are doubting yourself and then stop. Saying things like, "I got this" or "I will complete this" can give you just the extra boost you need to keep going. We all deserve to move forward, grow and achieve our goals. Self doubt creates a self imposed barrier that stops us from moving forward, growing and meeting our goals. 
This week, try talking back to that doubt. Remind yourself that are capable and that you can do this. 
Thanks for reading and have a great week!
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No More Complaining

1/8/2019

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Hello, 

We can get on a roll of complaining which can cause us to go down an unhelpful path. Complaining can make us feel victimized even we are not being attacked or exploited. Complaining can drain us emotionally which can lead us to feeling tired and unmotivated not only draining us, but those around us. One way to break the cycle of complaining is to get grateful. If you focus what you are grateful for, the complaining will decrease and the energy will increase. The more we focus on being grateful, the more energized we will feel, the happier we will feel and the better we will sleep. Try being grateful this week, make it intentional to focus on what is going right more than what is going wrong. If you catch yourself complaining, just lovingly remind yourself that you are not doing that anymore, say three things you are grateful for and why. 
​Take care everyone and thanks for reading. 
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